OCD, for the most part, use to run my life. Everything about it. Nothing in my life was normal. I would check windows to see what was outside, paranoid thoughts lived in me, I rarely left the house, and I was ruining every relationship in my life. Why? I thought that I deserved to suffer in silence and solitude. I needed to be alone.
I was of course wrong.
You see, OCD, is not just a disease. It is a disease with a mind, motive, and map. It lays out its plans, sets you up to walk right into that trap, and then engulfs your entire heart. OCD will push you to the corner and like an abusive husband will hit you until you just cannot take it anymore, so you fold.
That brings me to today's lesson. Get out.
One of the greatest moves I ever made as a sufferer was to isolate myself. I was so afraid that the world around me was going to get me, was going to take my life away, was going to take me from my life, that I would step back into the darkness. Here was the secret, OCD wanted that. It wanted me to sulk and sit back because than it could take over.
One of my biggest fears was leaving the house. I was so afraid that I was going to be arrested (for no reason other than stepping outside) that I began to think leaving my house only needed to happen when I went shopping and even then I made my fiance do it.
I remember, vividly, one day in particular. I needed to get to the craft store for supplies. So, I drove the 15 minutes there and on the way back while waiting at the light, a large truck pulled up behind me. When I saw the truck I saw the huge white letters read, 'POLICE'. My heart stopped. Every fear culminated together. I was going to be arrested, beaten, taken to jail, and subsequently murdered. This was it. This is where my life would end. I had a level 10 panic attack.
Then, I looked again.
No words. Nothing. It was a suburban housewife driving a big black truck. That was it. I had imagined the entire thing.
That is when I realized if OCD was not controlled it would do whatever it could to take my life and ruin it. It took me another year to make the first step but I did it. I spent the day outside of the house for the first time in nearly a year.
I got out.
That is your goal. Get out of your house, get out of your head, get out of your self, get out.
It is a small thing but my friends, it can get you through so many things. You have to break the seal. Do something that makes you afraid. Whether that is walking outside, like me, or refusing to check that door lock. Is it going to be uncomfortable? Yes. Will it be frightening? Yes. Will it pay off? Yes. Will it help you in the long run? Yes.
Overcoming OCD is simple, in theory. It is just about facing your fears one by one. Overcoming them one by one. As you begin to fix areas of your life, as you begin to get better, you will notice other cracks. Here is the great thing though...you will have the tools to fix them. I still face fears that are deeply rooted in anxiety but as an overcomer I have the ability to overcome those fears more easily.
We read in Genesis 15:12 that Abram faced a horror or shuddering fear. That fear is described as great darkness that assailed and oppressed him. Isn't that really just what OCD is? Our lives are assailed and oppressed! We are held back, held down, and held from seeing our future.
My hope is that each of you choose to not be oppressed by OCD and fear. You have nothing to fear. Trust me, I've been there, often the thought of our fear is much worse than what we fear! Don't let fear run your life. You run your fear and in turn your life!
Talk soon,
Rohn
Friday, December 20, 2013
Becoming and Overcomer
It's interesting how often times we are meant to do something. How we are meant to turn our mess into a message. Our pain into a presence. The test into a testimony. I suppose that is the cosmic joke of it all. You are born with something so frightening that just rears its ugly head one day and you use it to help others.
I was born with what my Mother always called, 'An anxious spirit..."
In other words, I was a few quarters short of a dollar. That was to be my lot in life. My grandfather has a nervous soul, as does my mother, and now I do. I pray I don't pass it on to my children, but that is a conversation best left for another day.
Today, I want to tell you about me, this blog, and where we will be going from here.
Who am I?
Well, my name is Ron and I live with OCD. For those of you who don't know, that is Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. A debilitating disease that steals your life, rips out your heart, and slams your emotions into overdrive.
I am what they refer to as Pure O. That means my life, for the most part, is lived within the boundaries of my head. I think thoughts, then those thoughts have thoughts, and then those thoughts lead to fear, anxiety, pain, sickness, and more.
However, I am happy to say that after 3 years of very hard work, I have come an extremely long way. The man sitting here and typing this is not the same man that sat in a room and tried to write a few years ago. I assume it is because I am a different person and I know that I just wasn't me.
What is this blog?
It is simply a place where people can come and get a little help. Where those who suffer silently each day can get a little boost. Where positivity and peace reign. Where we celebrate happiness in all its forms and learn not just how to deal with OCD but how to thrive at life!
Where will we be going?
I will be posting once a week (sometimes more) but at the minimum I will post a positive, uplifting, and straight talking post. We will examine life, its hardships, and how to work through everything that comes our way.
The bottom line is this. You can be an overcomer. You can overcome anything that comes your way. You are equipped. Inside each and everyone of us there is a set of tools we just have to learn how to unlock, unpack, and use.
1 John 4: 4-5 (Amplified) reads:
I was born with what my Mother always called, 'An anxious spirit..."
In other words, I was a few quarters short of a dollar. That was to be my lot in life. My grandfather has a nervous soul, as does my mother, and now I do. I pray I don't pass it on to my children, but that is a conversation best left for another day.
Today, I want to tell you about me, this blog, and where we will be going from here.
Who am I?
Well, my name is Ron and I live with OCD. For those of you who don't know, that is Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. A debilitating disease that steals your life, rips out your heart, and slams your emotions into overdrive.
I am what they refer to as Pure O. That means my life, for the most part, is lived within the boundaries of my head. I think thoughts, then those thoughts have thoughts, and then those thoughts lead to fear, anxiety, pain, sickness, and more.
However, I am happy to say that after 3 years of very hard work, I have come an extremely long way. The man sitting here and typing this is not the same man that sat in a room and tried to write a few years ago. I assume it is because I am a different person and I know that I just wasn't me.
What is this blog?
It is simply a place where people can come and get a little help. Where those who suffer silently each day can get a little boost. Where positivity and peace reign. Where we celebrate happiness in all its forms and learn not just how to deal with OCD but how to thrive at life!
Where will we be going?
I will be posting once a week (sometimes more) but at the minimum I will post a positive, uplifting, and straight talking post. We will examine life, its hardships, and how to work through everything that comes our way.
The bottom line is this. You can be an overcomer. You can overcome anything that comes your way. You are equipped. Inside each and everyone of us there is a set of tools we just have to learn how to unlock, unpack, and use.
1 John 4: 4-5 (Amplified) reads:
4 Little children, you are of God [you belong to Him] and have [already] defeated and overcome them [the agents of the antichrist], because He Who lives in you is greater (mightier) than he who is in the world.
5 They proceed from the world and are of the world; therefore it is out of the world [its [d]whole economy morally considered] that they speak, and the world listens (pays attention) to them.
You are an overcomer. Never give up. You can do it. Together we can do it.
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